How to Come Back from the Burden of Shame
Today we’ll talk about how to overcome your shameful past to experience the freedom we can have in Christ. We’ll look at David’s example in the story of Bathsheba and Uriah. 2 Samuel 11:1-4
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Intro: We’re talking about resilience:
- Resilience is harnessing difficult emotions to build your faith.
- Today’s difficult emotion: Shame (guilt, condemnation)
Defining Shame
- I know what you’re thinking: shame is always bad, never good
- But not so fast! Think of shamelessness: “The world delights in bold sinners who flout God's Word and expect no punishment whatsoever. Our culture celebrates the skillful cold-blooded assassin, bold thief, self-righteous vigilante, foul-mouthed recording artist, creative rebel, blasphemous stand-up comedian, naked actress, fornicating "glamour couple," self-worshiping athlete, occultic mystic, and the like. Perhaps the clearest example in our day has been the movement of homosexuality from something almost universally seen as shameful to something that ought to be delighted in. The gay rights movement is seeking not merely tolerance of what God calls sinful, but society-wide celebration.” - Ligonier “Our Shameless World”
- Ephesians 5:12 NLT ”It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.“
- Romans 1:24 (NLT) So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies.
- Romans 1:27 (NLT) And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.
- Romans 1:32 (NLT) They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.
- So we see the progression: sinning with a sense of shame → sinning without a sense of shame → encouraging others to do it
- Does this not describe today’s culture!?
- Shame (Oxford): a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
- Can you see how this can be bad… or good?
- Bad: Shamelessness, one end of the spectrum
- This is where the enemy wants you; what sin?
- Google doesn’t even know the word! (dictating sermons)
- Also bad: Shamefulness is on the other end, stuck in it
- This is just as helpful for the enemy
- Self-loathing, depression, anxiety, etc.
- Can’t handle the guilt, so eventually you stop pursuing
- This is NOT resilient
- For many, eventually leads to shamelessness
- Or you try to deal with the burden on our own:
- So you try to “work off” your shame by being a better person. You try to take by force what you can only obtain by grace.
- Or you medicate your shame
- Wow! How could shame ever be GOOD? Answer: When shame leads us to Christ (the answer is not on the shame spectrum; it’s a whole new level, dimension)
- Romans 7:24-25 (NLT) Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.
- Romans 8:1 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
- Difference between conviction and condemnation
- We’ll get to this at the end, but first an example
How David handled shame
2 Samuel 11:1 (NLT) In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.
- Tell the rest of the story:
- He sends for her, finds out she is Uriah’s wife, sleeps with her
- She gets pregnant
- How shameful: he was supposed to be at war with his men!
- Now he gets one of their wives pregnant
- But it gets worse:
- He sends for Uriah, tries to get him to sleep with her
- He’s trying to cover up his sin; never works
- Uriah is too honorable, won’t enjoy his wife while his homies are fighting it out on the battlefield (ouch)
- So David gets even deeper into shame: sends Uriah to his death on the frontlines
- STOP: Is there any hope for this guy?
- Goes from bad to worse
- Some of you might be thinking that; Paul was there: “what a miserable person I am”
But God sent a gift in the form of a truth-teller. This is so powerful, it’s worth reading the whole text:
2 Samuel 12:1-7 (NLT) So the LORD sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”
David was furious. “As surely as the LORD lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”
Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man!
- STOP: How would YOU handle this?
- This might be you right now, feeling conviction for your sin
- Condemnation is different, would give you no chance
- But God wants to give second chances
- The key is how you respond to a truth-teller
2 Samuel 12:13-14 (NLT) Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.” Nathan replied, “Yes, but the LORD has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the word of the LORD by doing this, your child will die.”
- Can’t always escape consequences of sin
- Can escape lifelong feelings of shamefulness. David’s example:
- He fasts and prays all week
- The baby dies, and he lets it go
- 2 Samuel 12:20 (NLT) Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the LORD. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.
- God blesses him with another son, Solomon
- Name means “God is his peace”
- This is the lesson David learned in the Tabernacle
- Shameless
- Psalms 51:1-4 (NLT) 1 Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. 2 Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. 3 For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. 4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.
- Psalms 51:9-10 (NLT) Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
- Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT) let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame.
- Jesus was shamed at the cross, though he did nothing wrong
- Romans 10:11 As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”
- Romans 8:1 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
- Difference between conviction and condemnation
- Condemnation: Satan leverages your shame to push you away from God
- Conviction: Holy Spirit harnesses your shame to point you to the cross
