When Family Becomes an Idol (Mark 3:31-35)

Discover the rarely discussed family life of Jesus and how his family's skepticism towards his ministry approach led to an intervention. Learn how Jesus prioritized faith and how even his family eventually came to believe in him.

Skeptical Siblings

Mark 3:20-21 (NLT) One time Jesus entered a house, and the crowds began to gather again. Soon he and his disciples couldn’t even find time to eat. When his family heard what was happening, they tried to take him away. “He’s out of his mind,” they said.

Did you know Jesus had brothers and sisters? He has 4 brothers and at least 2 sisters plus a mom, Mary. Joseph not being mentioned many believe is because he may have passed away by this time.

Mark 6:3-4 (ESV) Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.”

Jesus’ family saw all that he was doing and were concerned about his radical beliefs that had him serving others and preaching day and night. They were basically rejecting him right along with the pharisees. They were going to take him away to save him and their own family from embarrassment. 

Is Jesus too radical for you? Do you water down his words? Liberalism. 

Jesus demands some crazy things.  Blessed is he who lays down his life for a friend.  Love your enemies, bless those who persecute you.  Give to the needy, but don’t tell anyone you did it.  If anyone would sue you and take your tunic, give him your cloak as well.  Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.  If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away because it’s better to go to Heaven with one eye than hell with two eyes.  I have not come to bring peace but a sword.

What do we do with this abrasive, politically incorrect Jesus?  Do we follow Him or do we try to make Him follow us?  We learned weeks ago that you can’t make Jesus fit into old wineskins, into established religion.  Jesus is greater than religion, and he is not to be trifled with.  

This reminds us of Joseph in the OT when he was having dreams about his siblings and parents bowing down to him. They thought he was crazy and sold him into slavery, left him as good as dead. Yet, Joseph earned his place of honor and authority to later save them and they did bow. (Genesis 37:10, 50:18-21) Joseph was a type of Christ.

Genesis 37:10 (ESV) But when he told it to his father and to his brothers, his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have dreamed? Shall I and your mother and your brothers indeed come to bow ourselves to the ground before you?”

This can happen in our families as well when we become Christians. Our parents or siblings think we’ve gone crazy because we don’t hold to the traditions and faith that they do anymore. Often times being a follower of Christ does mean that we are serving a lot, bold in our faith and look like outcasts from the rest of society. Always talking about Jesus and the Gospel! This can lead to broken relationships, losing benefits and positions of honor in the family, being labeled the black sheep, some may think we are weird, holier than thou. 

If only Jesus’ family could see what he sees. If only our lost family members could see what we see and hear what we hear and know the lord like we do! 

(Trans) Now we’re going to jump to vs. 31-35 to pick up the rest of the story. Last week we talked about the leaders of the Jewish community rejecting Jesus and committing grievous sin toward God by seriously misunderstanding who Jesus is and blaspheming the Holy Spirit. This is what you call an “Intercalation” which is a literary device where one episode is interrupted by another, each playing off the other with interrelated themes. It is the first of 6 in the Gospel of Mark. This narrative shift is like a scene change that Mark is making to point out the similarity to the Pharisees and Jesus’ own family.

Undivine Intervention

Mark 3:31-32 (NLT) Then Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him. They stood outside and sent word for him to come out and talk with them. There was a crowd sitting around Jesus, and someone said, “Your mother and your brothers are outside asking for you.”

After the episode of the Beelzebul Controversy (Unforgivable Sin) we see Jesus’ family decide to have an intervention with him. As we said earlier, they came to take charge” of him. The verb often means to “arrest, seize, take possession of,” indicating an attempt to forcibly remove him for his own good. They assume that he must be “out of his mind” from stress and overwork. In a Middle Eastern culture where honor and shame were among the highest of values, their purpose would also be to remove Jesus from a situation that could reflect badly on the family.

The contrast between Jesus’ physical family who are “outside” and his spiritual family who are “sitting around him” inside is striking and will be taken up in the next chapter. ZECNT

Mark 4:11-12 (ESV) And he said to them, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables, so that “‘they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand, lest they should turn and be forgiven.’”

The 12 disciples and the faithful followers who have come to humbly hear Christ’s Good News are the ones who get to be with him, not the religious elite and not even his own family.

In the changing relationships of the kingdom of God, the insiders (the religious leaders and the physical heirs of Abraham’s promise) become outsiders, and outsiders (sinners, tax collectors, Gentiles, etc.) will become insiders and the recipients of God’s salvation. ZECNT 

In other words, this scene can be an illustration and deeper teaching using the rejection of Jesus’ own family members as a convicting blow to the nation of Israel and the pharisees ultimately rejecting the Messiah. 

We’ve seen their pride and arrogance and how Jesus came for those who know they are sinners. Sometimes our own family can be spiritually blind and will reject the truth because of tradition and family pride. I mean think about if you’re a part of a religious family that holds a position of honor or certain status in their church. To leave and believe something else, the true gospel, would mean ridicule, embarrassment, loss of social status and much more. Not to mention the idea that some religions believe that family is forever and how you live and who is united in faith in this life will determine the family life you have in the after-life.

(Trans) This is why the call to follow Jesus is hard for many people. Family is at the heart of most people in the world as value #1. Jesus takes an opportunity to speak to even this idolatry…

A New Family

Mark 3:33-35 (NLT) Jesus replied, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he looked at those around him and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.”

Jesus’ words about his family would be shocking in the group-oriented culture of the Middle East, where loyalty to one’s own family, clan, and nation was among the highest of cultural values. Jesus is not rejecting his own family. He is establishing a new society in which family is defined not by ethnic or national identity but by common allegiance to the kingdom of God and his purpose in the world. Jesus’ words here would have great significance for the church of Mark’s day, where allegiance to Jesus Christ often resulted in rejection by one’s own family. Jews who accepted Jesus as the Messiah were often disowned and treated as apostate; Gentile converts were viewed as abandoning the gods of their ancestors. Both suffered social and cultural ostracism. ZECNT

Don’t get us wrong, your family should be the most important people in your life. If you’re married, your spouse is the first person on earth you are to love, honor and cherish. If you have children, these are the next most important relationships in your life that you are called to develop. We are to first and foremost make disciples out of our family! 

But remember that God gave you a family, they are a gift from Him.  He did not give them to you so that you could elevate them to a position of greater importance than God Himself.  We admit that we trust God with our jobs, our finances, our health, so why not trust Him with our families.  

What happens if they don’t listen? If married, you stay married and be Christ to them til death do you part! Wayward kids, you train them up in the way they should go and hope that when they're old that they won’t depart from the faith, but if they do and they are out of your household then you don’t have any control over their life anymore. While they’re in the home you do have authority and they do have to listen. As adults, the relationship should change to trying to be like Christ to them. Engage them when appropriate. Always love them no matter how bad they reject Jesus or you.

Extended family for adults like parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins etc. We need to learn how to share the gospel with them. We are unashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God unto salvation!

Romans 1:16 (ESV) For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

Let us not cower in the midst of the fear of being rejected or losing relationships with them. We must live holy and transformed lives before them exercising the fruits of the Spirit so that they can see the power of the gospel in action right before their eyes. 

There becomes a crossroads in these family relationships when they think you’re crazy and radical. It is then when we must consider that God desires obedience and loyalty to him over your family.

Luke 14:26 (ESV) “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

Again, this doesn’t mean Jesus is throwing out all of the stuff in the bible about loving family. (5th Commandment)  He is rather saying that he won’t compete with other idols. Family can become an idol when they get in the way of following Jesus. 

God deserves our utmost devotion to him and his work, the Kingdom. When our family doesn’t want to be involved with that then that cause conflict. How we deal with the conflict will tell where our heart is. We have to remain responsible for loving our immediate family while making the time to also serve him, worship him, learn from him and love him. That relationship will help in loving all of the other people in our lives better anyway.

When other family members reject us, we can find acceptance and love in our new spiritual family which is the Church! All over the world there are other brothers and sisters in Christ. We hold the most important thing in common, God! Even though we are all different, we come together in beautiful fellowship knowing that we will all be together in eternity. We use our unique giftings and abilities to build God’s Kingdom on earth.

Our job is to follow God’s call, and trust Him to do the work only He can do to change the hearts of our family members.  God gifts us with families, even though they sometimes don’t feel like gifts.  He put you in this family on purpose, there are no accidents in God’s kingdom.  So if your family is fighting you, or they are apathetic to the gospel message, don’t give up.  Their relationship with God is on them, but you are where you are to spread the gospel of Jesus to a watching and waiting world.  Our job is to share the news, and we have to patiently wait on God to work in people’s hearts.  

Postscript: 

Hopefully along the way, some of our family members will join the family of God as we stay true to our spiritual family as adopted sons and daughters of God the Father. He is God Almighty who made heaven and earth and then moved it to save us! Jesus' family eventually got saved! 

Acts 1:14 (ESV) All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.

James 1:1 (ESV) James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes in the Dispersion: Greetings.

Close: The hope is for our family to come to Christ. If they don’t then at least we know that God has given us clear priorities and that ultimately, we have the greatest family on earth with the greatest Father the world has ever known!

Other applicable verses for this point:

Mark 13:12-13 (ESV) And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. 

Luke 12:51-53 (ESV) Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”